Endless Darkness

What do you do when you feel nothing inside? You try to talk or feel something... Scream out for help in fact, but it gets caught in the empty, chilled air around you. Anywhere is better than here. This horrid place... Not life, not death, just mere existence, if you could even call it that. All you feel is pain so deep that the dagger in your heart refuses to come out, it just twists and throbs. It feels like a black hole is swallowing you whole. Your mind is your enemy and your body its' slave. Trying to make the suffering escape through tearing at your skin. Trying to destroy the black darkness through food. Food only gets swallowed and makes your mind beat on you more... Shouting and yelling commands to fight against the endlessness. Cold, breathtaking air makes your lungs collapse and gasp for breath. Looking around, all you see is demons and creatures of your nightmares. Your eyes deceive you and those people walking around are empty zombies... Wandering and fulfilling their own demise. Yet... Perceptions are just that. Real? Fake? No one knows... Although, the feelings and thoughts tearing you apart are as real as a dog barking at a stranger, or rather, a person being eaten alive by a bloodthirsty lion. No, that's your mind talking... Details around the room come to existence. The chains around your wrists grow even tighter. No, think Jen... It's only the blankets... The bed is not the cold dark air of the dungeon. People are not empty... They are alive. No... Not out to eat you... But they certainly don't know... No. They don't know. The tears streaming across your face could just be from the cold rain outside. Your tangled hair could be from the powerful wind. How do they not see? My clothes are dry... My face is soaked... Can no one know the pain I'm feeling? Does no one see that my eyes are longing for love... Or are they too far distant for people to see inside? Do they not know that my lifeless body is only a mask of the deep, dark pain threatening my very being to the core? Am I truly alone, or is there someone out there? Please don't get your hopes up, it'll only break your heart when they leave again... Keep quiet, no one needs to know. No one needs to know that with every single step you take, there is a being somewhere inside, longing for peace... Love... Serenity. Every Americans' dream, right? Yet, even if their searching eyes just so happen to find mine, nothing will come of it. I will feel nothing. My eyes as empty as the ocean after a storm. As empty as a gloomy, night sky. No, not raging, just still. Dark and cold, but as still and silent as ever before. No, don't try. Just lay there, half dead, and focus on your shallow breathing. Don't let it slip away... Keep at it... Somehow, someway... Life tries to exist in this empty soul...